September 1976 - October 2004
these years hold great inportance in my life.these were the years,counting 1979 the year i was born,shared with a mad man called sethu.he was my rock of gibraltar.i was carefree and not bothered bout any thing.i was flying high with my wings spread open.i knew he was there to take care of amma and nana and me.i knew i had t just dail his number,tell him my problem,share a joke or fight like crazee.i knew he was there for me,no matter how stupid the matter was.i knew he'd relate to the rc colony,to the fights at school,to the late nights and to the absurd teen years.i knew he was there to lend his ear,to hold my hand and to be there.i knew i could sit with him for hours together and not say a word.i knew i could be noone but me with him.
then all of a sudden he just left us.he himself did not know that his journey ended here in the human world.he did not know cuase he was all set to shop for shoes that day.he was all set to go to his fav city.he was all set to move into his new home.he was all set to conquer his dreams for tomorrow.that "tomorrow" which was not meant for him.he was there lying and smilin like a saint.his face was calm and blissfull.he looked like he was content and had no worries.i thought to myself"boy this is what u call attaining nirvana".
however i want him back today.i just want to sit back and relax.have nothing to worry bout.just call him or hug him and say.
"vijay my elder brother,my bhai,pls take care of me"
Oh..Iam very much sorry 4 him deepthi....I dont hav words to say now....I know its not easy to forget such things but as far as i know u r stronger enough 2 go along with the life....Don u worry..if the almighty has taken back one from u...he has given another(me... it may seem a bit heavy to hear, one cannot replace him though) :-))....So never hesitate to share ur probs.....May his soul rest in peace...Keep smiling deepthi... :-))
ReplyDeletetake care
ReplyDelete**hug**
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel. Take care:)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you Deepthi
ReplyDeleteBalaji,Dharma,Aditi,Priya and Noonan - thnx a ton for these kind words,thoughts and hugs.I am overwhelmed.I miss him big time.Strangely I always think bout the happy times and feel content.Yesterday was different,it was as if he was there and i could not touch him and there was hollow feeling....as if he is not related to me anymore....maybe...
ReplyDeleteDeepthi, I don't know you well but a trail of blogs led me to your page sometime back. And I am glad I bumped here.I had a lot to deal in my life too and I can in someways relate with your pain; please stay strong.."keep sailing"-Sri
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Deepthi... Sending lotsa warm hugs your way... Take care...
ReplyDeleteHey deepthi...bomb blasts took place in the city...be cautious n take care..
ReplyDeletehi deepthi... just couldn't help noticing the October 2004 @ the start of the post...I admire your love for your brother, despite it being such a long time... well almost... you are in our prayers... don't worry... your brother will always be around you... blessing you... for death is the next biggest journey...
ReplyDelete@sri – thnx a lot for dropping by and thnx for the thoughts. I hope all is well with you and yes I promised “I will be strong” once and will always be.@Pari – hugs received :O@IMM – I am well and u take care of yourself too..@CM – you know I am kinda strange but I am happy for him.i am happy that he is away in a secure world. Whtat was it with 2004? And thnx for the prayers,blessings and just the comment…..
ReplyDeleteJust came across your blog while browsing metroblogs. Words are never enough in such cases, but you know there are a lot of us out here whom you can always depend on. Take care.
ReplyDeletethe best we can do is, i think, be happy that they are in a safe, happy place. When my granpa died, i kept telling myself. It took a lot of effort but I was happy that he will be safe and there will be no more suffering.May be Strange n weird, but positive!Take Care!
ReplyDeleteHey deepthi..a small clarification..u r somtimes addressing me with balaji..n somtimes with IMM..i knw that both r my names right??
ReplyDeletehugs deepthi!!
ReplyDeleteI remember d day whn u called me at work n told me abt "Vijay"...n i remember i thought u must ve had a fight wth him n in ur anger u are saying this...And then whn i realised u were speakin the truth....i cudn't believe...cos jst d othr day we discussed his weddin plans...2 ths day i smtimes 4get tht Vijay is no more.I always pray that he's happy where he's now...n honie he's looking after you from where he is now...! Jst keep loving him always...!loads luv to u....
ReplyDeleteDeepti, Hi! Read Dr.Brian Weiss' books? Do and you will know that your loved ones are not as far as you think they are! "Love is Forever"( that's one of his books)
ReplyDelete