ODE to ONE

Yesterday was one of the toughest days for my mind.It went through a lot in the span of 3 and a half hours.It thought about women who are survivors,women who are fighters,women who die and women who live.It came to a conclusion,I am not sure if it did as yet.However It did say it did.

I was talking to a few women about BREAST CANCER,I was listening to them and the only thought I had was "do i understand"?.I know people who are suffering from it.They have been great influence on me.However, do I really understand what they are going through? then i heard the script written by Viju and that moved me somewhere.It was so beautifully written that anyone can understand on how to support them.That is when i realised that you need not be in their shoes to get to know the effects of CANCER.All you got to do is as Viju said "be on their side".I wanted to write something for all,for every women who fights the battle.Here it is....

ODE to ONE

I was a child,the perfect one.
my hands were pretty and my feet perfect.

I was a girl,the angelic one.
my smile was innocent and my face was delightful.

I was a woman,the charming one.
my body was voluptuous and my bosom was a gifted.

It was a day when i met my fate,
she walked in and whispered with arrogance on her face.

I shuddered,I feared,I died within,
I could not give her what is mine,what is rightfully mine.

She did not wait for answers,she already had the knife,
She cut it not gently,but with passion of a deadly beast.

I cried,I hurt myself,I ventured alone,
I walked the streets of pain and looked for answers in vain.

I saw her sitting on my doorstep when I returned,
I asked her kindly to come inside.

She sat there for a while and looked at me in Silence,
I recognised her as the girl,the one I was.

I asked her why deary you so sad,
she said " i never promised you,you would be imperfect"

Now all you do is cry and say you are imperfect.
Your body is a gift from me to you,treat it like one and love it forever.

No one wrote that one is not good,
the numbers we say out starts from ONE!

ONE is the best and ONE is a boom,
One begins the world and One ends the world.

One rules the heavens and One rules the earth,
One is a gift to cherish till eternity.

I am a woman,the charming one,
My body is voluptuous and my bosom is ONE!

When i think i can(nnot) !

I have never been a person who stayed at home for longer.I thought that I was made to travel the world and see things and do things.Even when i was 8 years old,I walked all the way to ratnadeep in my area and asked them if they needed an entertainer( the owner promptly called my parents and i was whisked back home.)

So today after 30 years and 6 months i am back to square one and staying at home.I tried my hand in various things,from being a call center agent,to a trainer to a business analyst to a writer to a theatre artist and an assistant director.I even tried my hand at hosting a talk show(the producer cut that show and put it in the cupboard)

Now I am a home maker,I sit and home and think what did my gran or my aunts do at home?.I mean my granny sat at home for about 84 years.She never once ventured out on her own and she is still at home.She is quite content with that lifestyle and here I am getting bored out of my mind.I want to do many things,create stories and whip up some great plays or movies.I want to start a Anadanam project and give free food to anyone everyday.I want to write a book in Telugu and also one in English.I want to make movies like Jandhyala and write like Tikkana or our very own Pothana or Gurujada.

The thing I realised is that I am a bit of a Procrastination freak.I keep thinking what should happen today can take a break and happen tomorrow.Is that now plain rubbish?

I know of a lady who worked for my mom,i used to tell her to get rid of her mundane job of working in houses as a maid and start something on her own.Boy she did! she now owns a small vegetable cart and also a shed near my home and tells me" amma thanks to you,i have this". I tell her it is her hard work.

Why am I blogging this to tell myself that "lazy ass get up and get things moving".You need not earn a lot now,however you will be satisfied and make yourself happy!