Friday, April 3, 2009

Woman know your Power!

when I was a teenager that as an incident that shook me.

We used to go for a stroll in our colony after dinner.We did that same that night,6 girls in their 16teens.We saw there was a party happening in of the houses.We wanted to get in and have fun.We met a guy and he invited us over.he was cute and few girls ended up exchanging numbers.However curfew got us back home.We decided to spend the night in my place.

One of the girls wanted to go for the party.She called the guy who we bumped into.he came home and picked her up (all this without the knowledge of elders.we were teenagers mind you).So we waited,waited and waited.she did not come back. time was 4 am,i woke my dad up and told him what happened.Dad being my dad,did not scream shout or raise his eyebrows."do you know that address", he asked. we sat on his scooter and went to the party house. Music was blaring and dance was in trance stage.dad knocked on the door and a young boy in his late teens answered the door.

Is Sheetal (name changed) in, he asked. the boy's face turned white.He tried to stop dad from getting in.But, tough luck dad was heavy and this boy looked like a little rat in front of him. We went in and started looking for her. We found her in the bedroom,crouching on the floor.She was tipsy and the handsome hunk was all over her. Dad threw (literally) this guy from one side to the other,like a ball. Picked up Sheetal and put her on the scooter. I was sitting at the back holding her head.

Reached home,she slept.Dad went to the guys house in the morning.His parents were on a vacation and they got back in the morning.His mother pleaded and asked dad not to lodge a complaint. Dad was angry,he wanted to whack that guy and he did that in front of his parents. I remember he beat him black and blue.Told him that if he ever,ever misbehaves with a girl again in his life. He will hunt him down ( by the way that guy is in touch with dad and his parents too)

Why did I write all this today.Sheetal wanted to go out that day.We were not in the mood and we told Sheetal that she can meet the guy in the day.However she thought we were being pessimistic and very Indian orthodox.Whatever you call it and walked out. In the end she had to be rescued and she still fears going out with strangers.

That was a teenager and today many grown up women are going through the same phase. You might think I am from old school or I do not appreciate modern woman. I do in fact I am very positive and extremely found of my freedom and my mind. However we need to know our limitations. Sheetal could be anyone of us. It is not modern if you go out with a stranger in the middle of the night.Listen to you instincts and then go on.inform someone about where you're going.Keep your friends numbers on speed dial.

Modern or traditional we women need to understand that freedom is very important for us and we need to utilize it carefully. We need to be equal and not compete with men. He is going out alone, so can I.Yes you can,though you might disagree. We have strong mental powers and mind. Physically we are weak. Not that we cannot kill.But tell me what will you do if there are 5 guys and only you.

A friend once told me if there are 2 guys, I will fight till the end.If they are 5 then I will say say please use condom! (she took the whole episode in a funny manner and made me laugh) Cause she knows that every human being has her/his strengths and weakness!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

to or not to...

Never imagined myself to be at home and be a homemaker. indeed it was a choice made my self and to think of it, I am enjoying the phase right now.

Getting up,making coffee (thankfully my better half does not insist on me waking up early or doing wifely duties of old era). the thing is that i would not have been with him if he expected me to do so. That brings me to my fav subject of today "compromise"

I remember my mom never asked my dad for permission for anything.She just told him what she wants to do. He on the other hand never told her what to do and left her choices to her. The way we were brought up at home also laid the foundation to what we think is compromise. Like I never ask people,I tell them. If I want to go out with my girlie, I tell V and he is OK with it and vice verse.

Recently a friend was telling me that she cannot do that,as her husband was not happy with it. The thing is that she was not doing anything major. All she asked him was for some personal time for herself. His reason was that you have to take care of family and that is personal time. ahem,one whack from me to him.

That does not mean,never to compromise. If you think that your thing is little less important than that of the other person,then go ahead give it to him/her. Sometimes the smile on the other person's face lets you forget that you did compromise for them.

So decide and be sure of your choice and yes never compromise for worse.compromise for better.