color me blue....

Copyright@deep '07

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splash,dip,drink,wash,swirl,swim,mix....the many moods of water....

Girlfriends....

we giggle sit and share our life.We share what we call
"the circle of love"

you can call her at 2 am and cry bout your broken shoe,you can drop in at day noon or night,tell her that u just had a fight.

she will sit with you till your pour your heart out,she will lend her heart as a shelter and as a warm cocoon.

she will kick you ass for no one will dare,soon after she will look at you and say you are rare.

she will make you coffee,mix your drinks.she will shop till you drop and say u looking cute in your short crop.

she will stand by your side in each walk of life.she will tell you what is wrong and what is right.

she can make you scream,laugh and cry all at the same time...

she was with you in your childhood park,in your teen hangouts,in your office basement,in your growing years,in a city far from home,in times when you never thought she would be the one.

I am blessed to have them in my 28 years of life..

Vinni,Smitz,Pills,Jens,Anu,Neels,Dimps,Haritha,Unger,Pia,Manisha,Chippi,Dee thnx for being there.....


thanks for being there my girlfriends

nerdy and his tomorrow...

Aku was trying on his granpa's glasses...he he nerdy boy...

I am a mother and it is natural for me to fear for his future.however, i really do not think too much bout it.Is it wrong? well, i really don't think it is..

it is his future and he should ideally be the one to decide.

however i will hold his hand now and show him the path.

like a gulmohar sapling,i will nurture him.

tomorrow he will be his master.i want my son to be carefree,emotional,creative,human and more than that a good person from within.

i do not want him to make any woman cry.i want him to feel for others.i want him to be a whacko like me.

all the above and more are what i want...what will he want.. only time will tell and i shall gracefully accept it....

if he falls i might lend him a hand or might let him get up on his own...all it takes is a bond to prosper from today to tomorrow and that thought is too young.just like my son.

when i look at him i smile,i scream at him and melt at his innocent face...i cannot think of him as a grown up with issues.

for now i am content with his today....i am happy,happy and proud to be the mother of akshat the certified brat...

I Smile,You Smile,We all Smile!!!

Smile and the world smiles with you.

So, look at someone, for that matter anyone today and smile.
They might think you are mad, however just smile and nod. They might be going through tough times, might be happy and no one around to share their happiness with. So, you smile and nod, Voila it makes your and their day.

I did that today; smiled at P in the office (I am used to ignoring him and treating him as invisible) he had a surprised look on his face. However he did smile and asked me for coffee in the basement. We ended up talking about idiotic stuff and promised to do it once in a week.

Let me know if you did that.... and I am smiling at you :) wide...Happy times for a happy and better world .........

last shot....

Life is very weird.Why do i say so? cause it makes you go blind,deaf and mute at the most crucial time.

Blind - when you see have too see your tomorrow in today

Deaf - when you have to listen to something that decides your tomorrow

Mute - when you shut your mouth only when the time is right to speak

So,the above being said and done.When is the right time?What if you screwed it up and realised it late? will it help trying again? will the person understand? what if they do not? what if you are rejected? do you try till your are tired?

Well I am going to give it a shot one more time.
This time i am trying it for sure.
There is no turning back.
This is it.
I have my back to the wall and there is nothing ahead.....

brother...

September 1976 - October 2004

these years hold great inportance in my life.these were the years,counting 1979 the year i was born,shared with a mad man called sethu.he was my rock of gibraltar.i was carefree and not bothered bout any thing.i was flying high with my wings spread open.i knew he was there to take care of amma and nana and me.i knew i had t just dail his number,tell him my problem,share a joke or fight like crazee.i knew he was there for me,no matter how stupid the matter was.i knew he'd relate to the rc colony,to the fights at school,to the late nights and to the absurd teen years.i knew he was there to lend his ear,to hold my hand and to be there.i knew i could sit with him for hours together and not say a word.i knew i could be noone but me with him.

then all of a sudden he just left us.he himself did not know that his journey ended here in the human world.he did not know cuase he was all set to shop for shoes that day.he was all set to go to his fav city.he was all set to move into his new home.he was all set to conquer his dreams for tomorrow.that "tomorrow" which was not meant for him.he was there lying and smilin like a saint.his face was calm and blissfull.he looked like he was content and had no worries.i thought to myself"boy this is what u call attaining nirvana".

however i want him back today.i just want to sit back and relax.have nothing to worry bout.just call him or hug him and say.

"vijay my elder brother,my bhai,pls take care of me"

All about Summer an Me!!!

i was tagged by john

on 8 things I like about Summer

1.I used to love the summer holidays :(.Can we have them back and make it mandatory for life :)

2.I love the mangoes and the yummy pickles

3.I love the short nights(he he I work in night shift)

4.I love the aam panna

5.I love the reason (it's hot I cannot make to to work,had a sunstroke)

6.I hate the heat,love the AC

7.I love that the geyser is not on and the electricity bill comes down from rocket high amount.

8.I love the Summer for,I get to live all alone when the whole family is out on a summer holiday.Peace and tranquil for those few days!!!!


pia,aditi,dharma,loofa,g3,SN IMM ,actually anyone can take up this tag.

It is all bout choice...

I read a lot of books and thanks to Miss Iyer I too wanted to share with the world few words that I remember.


Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

The poet said it all in these lines.

I hear "Could I do something different" in the distant horizon...

Let go....

How to let go? of the memories we hold,the promises we shared,the thoughts?
The talks night and day,the quite dinners,the crazy movies,the books we read together,the coffee and the deli?
How does one let go the nights spent on bed with radio playing old tunes?
How does one let go of the lunches we cooked and the mess we created?
How does one let go the dreams we shared and the reality we lived in?
What does one do when the memories come back and only make u sad?
Block them? what if that cannot happen? let them pass by?

hmmmm................

I am letting them go or wait I did already.
To live for myself for a better today and for those happy days ahead.To see things in light and not to hide in dark...
To live every moment and surrender to the joy.Let loved ones know that u sorry for ignoring them.
Let yourself know that u are someone special,someone with zest and madness acquired...
Let the son know that you a craze mother,let parents know that you a dutiful daughter.
Let friends know that you love them till eternity.
Let your heart know what is reality....
It ain't a skill,it ain't a game.
All that takes is one deep moment,to let go...

livin with mr.boxer

So,i am a mother of a 3yr3month old.How does one live with these potential little brats?

"Let their be rules" do they follow,hmmm good questions? I still try here are few

1.never say ice cream say i-c-e-c-r-e-a-m-e..I do all the time and end up landing at the nearest parlor with him..suggestion on improvisation please :(

2.T.V what T.V!!! plea ignorant and give him a blank stare.I do all the time,he learnt the art of operating a remote :(

3.Horlicks!!yum he loves it,the only problem---he tends to make it into a paste and stick it into corners of the door.thinks he invented a new stopper HELP!!!!

4.boxing -- do not ask,we are hiding in the closet.he managed to spot me now runnnnnnn..

5.hugs - loadsa them,kisses one for every time he bathes and eats and sleeps and rests his vocal chords!!!

6.deethi - the name he gave me and the name and me lovin it...

7.single mom - blissful and content

dark reflections...

I clicked this to try something different.wanted to see how my shadow,the mirror and the window look in one pic.will try better tomorrow.

Comments on how to will be appreciated

Let Them Be!!!!!

who are they? what do they do? where do they come from? why are they here?

I was reading a mag today and all i could read was this was obscene,that was vulgar,she was not dressed properly,he kissed her and son on.aaaaaaaaaaa

I feel like screaming on that.why cannot an individual live life on their own terms.i mean look at it, mandira bedi wore a saree with flags on it and they scream and give her a arrest warrant.man come on she was trying to get some moolah and spread the mssg of unity.no,they do not see that,Indian flag was near her feet.now will u wear that for one day? no you will not however u will not let anyone else promote unity.bahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

richard gere kissed shilpa shetty,hmm freak how can a man kiss a woman!!!!that too a peck goodness gracious!so,lets all get into a line and sign a long form or application for kissing and then take permission and kiss.what say?

sania mirza wore a tee with some graffiti on it,who the hell cares man.she is a young kid let her wear what she wants.please watch her game not her tee.let her be....

why do u want to know what others are up to?what if we start invading your life?what if we say you eating with right hand! wrong,eat with left or else we will file a police case.you walking with your head up! no, look down or else we will burn your face...and mind you we can go on and on and on...

Let humans live for once in a free country.where they are not afraid to do what they want.every individual has a right to live and do what is good for them.if someone wants to streak and run let them.if it makes them feel happy then let them be!

Let there be freedom of press,speech,expression and ,let us be

To them....

She was from a Kerala Brahmin family.Petite and beautiful.He was from a far off land called Andhra Pradesh.Came to Palakkad to learn vedas from her father the great Shankara Narayana Sravathi.He was young restless and handsome.She peeped from the corner of the parda to see him.Her swan like eyes caught his attention.

Everyday he used to look that side and wait for her to shower love.
Shy,immature,pure that was what they shared.He went back to his village.Was restles night and day.She was being paraded to men.He went back asked his guru for her hand.Guru refused.He sed "you are a Brahman from andhra,Am a Brahman from kerala,this can never happen".She cried sitting near the river pamba.her tears still flow there.He was distressed.gave up all his social life.

He wrote her a letter,said "I will wait for you at the river,if you love me run away,run away from them and come into my world.I promise to love you like a new born child".She ran and came into his arms.She came to his village.New place,new language,new surroundings,new people.Her mother came and asked her to come back.She refused,he is mine now and I am his she said.the same eyes that cried,were filled with tears of joy.

The whole village out casted the kerala girl and the andhra boy.They moved into his ancestral house.She gave him 3 children.He showered her with the love.they lived and the family lived on forever.

I am her great-great-great grand-daughter...

her - Bhavani Kutty Amal
him - Suryanarayana Sastry..

I will go back to her village one day and find her origins and mine too.Sit next to the river pamba and feel her presence.Stand under the tree and see them hug.Wait near the window and watch them pass by.Meet her family and thank them,for without them I would not have started this journey....a journey in search of my great-great-great grandmother's roots.

I will, one day and feel the love all over again....this post is dedicated to them and to many more who made the impossible, possible in small ways and left us behind to follow the footsteps..

Tyagaraja

Tomorrow is the most celebrated day of carnatic music.It is Saint Tyagaraja's birthday.

Who is Tyagaraja?

He was a composer of Carnatic Music.He composed hundreds of devotional songs on Rama.Every South Indian will know atleast one of his keertana's.My fav is " Endaro Mahaanubhavulu".
He was born into a Brahmin's family in the Thanjavur district in the year 1767.His grandfather was also a poet-composer in the court of Thanjavur.
He got married to a beautiful lady called Kamalamba and she too was well versed in music.His guru was Sonti Venkataramanayya.When he was eight years old, Tyagaraja composed Namo Namo Raghavaya Anisham in raga Desikathodi.This is how the music career of a great composer began.He was so immersed in his devotion to lord Rama,that he refused to accept to be at the kings mercy and sing in his court.He dedicated his life to Rama and sang in his praise day and night.

Try and listen to his compositions and feel the great sense of peace that bestow es on you.I thank this Saint for composing such melodies like,Nidhi Chala Sukhama,Bantu Rithi Koluvu and many more.

Pancharatna kritis are a set of five kritis (songs) in Carnatic music, composed by Tyagaraja.
They are
Jagadananda Karaka,Sadhinchene,Dudukugala,Kanakana Ruchira and Endaro Mahanubhavulu.
Wish him a very happy birthday.He still is alive, in the music and every note that we sing and listen to!

Allpey's Highway...

Copyright@Tanikella 2007