weight thrown around!

Been a long long long longgggggg Holiday and yes I think I did have good time diary :D.When i write in my blog,the picture that automatically comes to my mind is of a young me, scribbilling her way through the diary.Then safely locking it ( had one of those cute ones that you could lock) and then search the whole room for the lost key the next day.Here i forget my password and everyday I click on "lost password" link :)

I think the 3 months effect of being a new mother is slowly wading off.Ask me how?" how deethi how?,Well I went to the tailor to get a salwar stitched and seriously I was not at all happy with the thing called tape and the thing called measurements I saw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.I was in tears when the Tailor looked my sad face and said "hota hai maadamjo hota hai" and I was like "kya hota hai" and he said "Size aur bada hota hai"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ayooooooooooo save me :(

Then there is my hair, throughout pregnancy i fell in love with my curls.oh!how curly,noodles like they looked and now after 3 months,I will be surprised if they look even like wires that i hang my clothes one :(

I don't have a single tee that fits me and all i have is size s and xs and hoping that i will land in them soon i keep them safe.My mother looks at them and at me and says "hmm,i was like this after you and look where i am now".she is put on more kgs people :(

So i started playing badminton today and i was kinda puffft after few serves.but,hell goes to heaven or heaven goes to hell.I shall get back to at least the M size and at least i can tell my daughter-in-law "i was a figure then ma" :P "even after the second one" :D

MOTHER!

You know that no matter where you are,what you do and (who you do:P),could not resist putting that one!there is always your mothers voice somewhere deep in your head.So,for me it is like she keeps talking to me every time.

I have no regrets on that one though.I would want her to be there and talk to me and tell me all those things that i need to know.there is this running joke in our family "take a huge picture of you mom and frame it up near the door".I would not mind doing that.

She went thought so much to put bread in out mouth,that it would not be enough to thank her in THIS LIFE.I miss her today and happy that she is going to be here with me soon :D.So here's to all mothers around the world

LOVE YOU WOMAN!

M.S.Subbalakshmi and Durga Atha!

Every kid in South India or India period, gets up with a rendering voice of M.S in the background of their home. It could be from the radio in their own home or from the neighbors,however M.S.Subbulakshmi is heard everywhere.

I still play it early morning and it gives me a boost for the rest of the day.Today I dedicated my whole morning to her. Humble but a modest respect to the late Gana Saraswati. As I am typing this i have Nagumomu playing the background. Aha what a voice. It makes you forget the whole world for a while.It takes you go back to the world where you smell the fresh filter coffee,a cookers whistle in your amma's kitchen and the smell of agarbathi from the pooja room. thatha's stotras and ammamma's anklets as she enters the house from the backyard. her basket filled with flowers for the pooja.


Sree ramanavami starts with Pibare Ramarasam and to hear it sung by M.S is just like the paysam or the theertham. She sings Dolayam and you feel like swinging your whole body to the song. Just like the way Balaji in tirumala does. Her Endaro... takes you to a high, a musical high. her Vatapi...makes you run to the pooja room and fold your hands for a minute and ask Ganesha to bless you for life.

Finally her Cheri yashoda takes you back to the days when Atha used to sing it you while feeding you lunch in the balcony. Mudugari...I learnt in in my verandha from Giri Atha. there are so many memories attached to her voice and her songs. How can one ever forget her.She is immortal,as long as her voice is heard,she is.

This is to my Durga Atha who was dear to me and to many others. M.S was introduced to me by her on the tiny radio at seethaphalmandi when i was 6 years old.

P.S - wrote this a a note on F.B.However was in the same mood today :) so here it is on blog....

things that i am doing and thinking of doing!

Aku is at an age where he has too many things on his mind.Most of the times,it takes up to 60 minutes for him to make his opinion and then another 60 to tell you that it is called an opinion. He has a point to make about everything around him.Yes,It does not matter whether it is required or not (does it ever matter to a 6 year old?)

Being 9 months pregnant is not funny.It is that time when all you keep thinking is "when is the baby coming out?".It is like the whole world is planning on keeping that baby inside and making you look like a drum for life.

It has been ages since I sipped anything that is has spirit it in.Let my senses give me the taste,touch,smell of some wine.I will say cheers and add the hearing sense.

Wonder why all the food outlets are far away from your home when you need them the most.They appear so closer when you are on diet. (i said you,I am never on diet) but the outlets with those lovely pictures and aromas are far far away.

I am going to gorge on pasta,noodles (indian version) these 2 weeks.After that amma says "deethi cannot eat junk for more than 3 months".When was the food I cooked not called junk?!

I finished about 15teen 5 stars in two days and searching for more :D

Lingamma the trusted maid!

Lingamma is our maid,never paid much attention to her.She works for Amma and is happy with the regular house work she does.I never noticed her that much initially.All I know is she was the face who kept our vessels,clothes and home clean.

Now when Amma and Nana(dad) had gone on a tour,she was here at home with me and that is when she started stealing.Me being I,never noticed anything till Amma came back and found out that most of the stuff like my sarees,artificial jewelery,few steel vessel and glasses and other things went missing.The worst part was that the maid went missing too.Nana and others wanted to lodge a complaint at the police station.However,Amma did not allow that and the matter was closed.

Now Amma did not want to complain to the cops for many reasons,one was the the things that were missing were not that important.Because if they were it would not have taken us a week to figure that they were missing.second,she said "she must have had a reason".I was quite surprised at Amma's reaction,but paid no heed or importance to the incident.

A few months ago Lingamma came back and fell at Amma's feet.She said she was sorry for what she did and wanted to join back.My mom and aunt promptly took her back and she has been working ever since.they did not ask her any questions and also told us not to ask her about the stolen goods incident!

yesterday,I was in the back yard to take the clothes out of the clothesline.It was raining and I did not want the clothes to get wet.Lingamma was there before me and took care of the clothes. I asked her to come inside the house and made tea for the two of us.While sitting and sipping chai and watching the rain,she told me that her husband was drinking more than usual and her elder son was mentally challenged and she took care of her family alone and started to talk about normal life.

Then she told me the day she stole things from our home,she was angry at herself for her husband beat her and she wanted to do something stupid.She then told me that she ran away to her village as she was scared that we will book a police complaint.It is only when she found out we did not,she came with the things and gave them back to Amma.Who in turn asked Lingamma to keep them for herself,as Amma did not need those things.

Amma apparently told her that she lost trust and was hurt that Lingamma did such a thing.So,Lingamma is now working hard to gain the trust back.

I figured she gained it back,i drank tea and dozed off and Lingamma was watching the house till Nana got back from work.

Yes,nothing went missing :)

My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes

Indain Home maker had this brilliant idea and I was more than happy to tag along :)

the topic is very simple as put in the blog post - what 10 "mainly womanly/manly" things do you/i like to do that are not so done by your gender. Also she says and I like,that if you dont do these things you will be cursed :P.men with pink shirts and woman with blue pants.I like the men with pink shirts bit :)So here are 10 things that me a women would like to do like a man.

1.Wear a banian and lungi and walk into the park.

2.Go the barber shop in the neighborhood and get a good champi massage.

3.walk around with the bush eyebrows and the little mustache without being bothered about groomin.

4.sit in the local irani cafe and stare at nothing.

5.smoke a pipe with uncles in the bar (i did this)

6.Scratch my groin just for once and show men how disgusting it is.

7.I hate chocolate and most men i know would kill for them.

8.play in the ground on a rainy day and forget about the tight bra.

9.I am not happy with the pink color and sky blue is my all time fav.

10.I would love to be born as a woman in every birth :)

Now here are the people who I am tagging .I do not know many in the blog world,but those few are
Abirami,Telgumom,Usha,Themadmomma,wordsndreamz,Rakesh,MFFS

to or not to ?

I was talking to a friend about families and the utter nonsense one has to bear with it and she said how her brother-in-law always agrees to what his mother says and how her sister is fuming with that thought.She was like "d,don't you think he should pay my sister some ear to?".I said "true S,he has to".

Now if there one common thing all over the world then it is the beta,son,koduku getting stuck between the mother and the wife.However, did you ever think of the daughter getting stuck between the husband and the father? It is weird is it not that there are not many stories running around that syndrome. Is it cause the daughters and daughter in-laws keep them men happy? is it because when it comes to the word daughter all men stay silent and let them rule? I personally think it is because two men and one woman is much easy then two woman and one man. Also when it comes to gender it also mostly depends on the thinking side of that gender.

For ages MIL and DIL have fought wars
1.I think ,Draupadi was fuming and wanted to throw red mirchi on her MIL when Kunti asked her sons to share the wife.
2.Sita should have been pissed off with Kaikeyi for sending her to forest.

They have also been instances where DIL and MIL lived happily ever after like my MIL and Her MIL.However I think personally that one or the other has to calm down the ego and live with it till she can no longer bear.Now who can it be? you will ask. Well that is the answer I do not have.My amma says that if you are a bigger person then you will calm down.Who will decide who the bigger person is? It is you who have to and has to says my inner voice.Again till when? Till the time you lose your patience says my inner voice.Does this have side effects? asks me.Yes,of course says my inner voice.

Till the side effects start,I shall listen to my inner voice.until then, here comes the veil of patience!

what do u call a conversation? or is this even one?

So here i am 7 months pregnant and staying at amma's house for the so called bed rest. very funny the word "bed rest" is.I keep thinking are they asking me to rest or the bed :P.Anyway back to my staying at amma's.
I amthe kind who loves not to talk when not required.But over the days it is like I m standing outside my self and looking at deepthi maami.how I might ask?even if you dont and here is how....

Me - Pinni (amma's sister) - did u see the watch woman today?
Pinni - no ma I think she has fever.
Me - fever a paada (fever or shit) I think she is on a holiday.
(now pinni is happy with this,which i mean the shit part and goes....)
Pinni - deethi, you know what she did yesterday?
Me - (with big eyes bulging) what? what?
Pinni - she came and asked for a days leave! (now this is certainly a matter of life and death,how can a watchwoman ask for a days leave?)
Me - Nooooooooooooooooooooo,what did you say?
Pinni - I said no,but then I said I will give it only if she cleans the windows and she did.
Me - Pinni you should have asked her to clean the doors too...

seriously is this even a conversation?

I need to get more specific next time.need to talk about the bin boy and figure why he does not collect garbage the same morning and waits till evening....

Mind Matters

I fell flat on my back yesterday and it hurt.Thank fully I was on the phone with S and she called V.He rushed home from work and I was better than before.Now why is it important to tell myself that I fell.Well I am 3 months into my pregnancy and falling is not such a good thing to do.

Surprisingly I took it very calm,i did not panic or cry.Casue some instinct told me that my little one is alright.

Some voice told me "deethi,she is ok."

My folks and V's folks were freaking out.Which is quite natural,however by the end of yesterday we all went to bed peacefully.

I could not remember that vioice,nor can tell you wether i heard it like a normal human voice.All I know is that i did hear someone say those words.

This brings me to sixth sense or instincts that have been around with me for ages.I know if and when something is going wrong or right.I know that this is is not good and I know that this will be ok.Deep down there is someone telling me what to do and what not to do.That someone is my subconcious mind.

I heard once that,you have to train your subconscious and it will stay with you in times of need. I am not sure if everyone does this.However every human being has this energy and one just has to focus to get it right.Try and teach this to kids,if they are young.They will be trained well and it will help in their course of life.

My little one is already there,I think it is she who told me that "amma,all will be OK." :)

speak..

being within the walls of self,looking at the one within,
you thought you forget the past and moved on to the present.

you met yourself at the end and questioned again and again,
the answers were always the ones that you wanted to hear.

today you met the "you" that came to visit from the past,
it said "tell me my friend,does it feel good to see me"?

you smiled and you walked away,never looking back,
it was the point you missed,you missed completing yourself by answering the question.

you still linger on to those moments and think that no one can say,no one can hear the past?

say it out my soul,tell him,shout out, for it feels like a baby with no past and future that she holds for herself.

Woman know your Power!

when I was a teenager that as an incident that shook me.

We used to go for a stroll in our colony after dinner.We did that same that night,6 girls in their 16teens.We saw there was a party happening in of the houses.We wanted to get in and have fun.We met a guy and he invited us over.he was cute and few girls ended up exchanging numbers.However curfew got us back home.We decided to spend the night in my place.

One of the girls wanted to go for the party.She called the guy who we bumped into.he came home and picked her up (all this without the knowledge of elders.we were teenagers mind you).So we waited,waited and waited.she did not come back. time was 4 am,i woke my dad up and told him what happened.Dad being my dad,did not scream shout or raise his eyebrows."do you know that address", he asked. we sat on his scooter and went to the party house. Music was blaring and dance was in trance stage.dad knocked on the door and a young boy in his late teens answered the door.

Is Sheetal (name changed) in, he asked. the boy's face turned white.He tried to stop dad from getting in.But, tough luck dad was heavy and this boy looked like a little rat in front of him. We went in and started looking for her. We found her in the bedroom,crouching on the floor.She was tipsy and the handsome hunk was all over her. Dad threw (literally) this guy from one side to the other,like a ball. Picked up Sheetal and put her on the scooter. I was sitting at the back holding her head.

Reached home,she slept.Dad went to the guys house in the morning.His parents were on a vacation and they got back in the morning.His mother pleaded and asked dad not to lodge a complaint. Dad was angry,he wanted to whack that guy and he did that in front of his parents. I remember he beat him black and blue.Told him that if he ever,ever misbehaves with a girl again in his life. He will hunt him down ( by the way that guy is in touch with dad and his parents too)

Why did I write all this today.Sheetal wanted to go out that day.We were not in the mood and we told Sheetal that she can meet the guy in the day.However she thought we were being pessimistic and very Indian orthodox.Whatever you call it and walked out. In the end she had to be rescued and she still fears going out with strangers.

That was a teenager and today many grown up women are going through the same phase. You might think I am from old school or I do not appreciate modern woman. I do in fact I am very positive and extremely found of my freedom and my mind. However we need to know our limitations. Sheetal could be anyone of us. It is not modern if you go out with a stranger in the middle of the night.Listen to you instincts and then go on.inform someone about where you're going.Keep your friends numbers on speed dial.

Modern or traditional we women need to understand that freedom is very important for us and we need to utilize it carefully. We need to be equal and not compete with men. He is going out alone, so can I.Yes you can,though you might disagree. We have strong mental powers and mind. Physically we are weak. Not that we cannot kill.But tell me what will you do if there are 5 guys and only you.

A friend once told me if there are 2 guys, I will fight till the end.If they are 5 then I will say say please use condom! (she took the whole episode in a funny manner and made me laugh) Cause she knows that every human being has her/his strengths and weakness!

relationship etc etc....

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

there are many things that make me wonder about relationships. i have seen few friends who are in beautiful ones and few who in it just for security. the whole point being that i look up to the ones who make it worth it.i mean dont we all?

we all learn a lot from the past relationships. we learn not to repeat the silly goofs or we learn to give more. personally i feel that as each one goes by a better you comes out. like

i know a couple, my dear A & S, u know it is like being around magic when you with them. not that they are sweet or romantic or they kiss and hug. it is just cause you can feel the warmth and trust between them. there is this vibe that feels and makes their world better. these are the ones who fall in love and know that there is a bond intact, which will stay for life and remain after.

aren't we all the same? yes we all are, however at the end of the day being in a great realtionship makes u happy. it makes you feel that need to improve. it makes u want to learn new things and give in more.

the basic thing is that you have to first learn to love yourself and then give it to others. a realationship is stronger between two people who really like each other. so, try and learn to like your partner. do not get into it just for the heck of it. you know u will fall apart after the show ends...

talk a lot and commnicate, learn to like each other genuinely,enjoy the time and you will see the differnce. all of us tend to wait for the other to come to us, may be we can make the difference and be that person. if you see a point that is not seen by him or her, argue about it. a good argument helps you a lot....talk,talk to him/her everyday.

also another thing that i feel is the most important is change. as they say change is the only thing that is stable...so learn to the change it can be a little hard on you or him but it works....

I am writing this as am accepting the changes in me and for better or worse

my kind of woman...

her hair is open like the wild Ganges....
her mouth is soft like velvet and wet...
her eyes are a mystery to the observer in day light or in dark...
her long hands are like the stems of the jasmine....
her fingers are like vine they cling on to you...
her toes remind you of the pebbles near the ocean...
her hips are born to rule and swing you along..
her legs are fine like the stretch at the woods....

her body is yours for day and for night...
her soul remains untouched for today and forever....
this her is the she, who lives not by rules...
she lives in a land where she is her own muse.....

she is every women i know, she is the epitome of the earth below and the ruler of the blue skies above....
she s free like the wind, she flows like the river, she laughs like the rain and dances with the trees....
she lives in your heart..hear her close your eyes and hear her.....

Patience...

I am sitting at the table trying to write, the gate opens and my neighbor walks in drunk. his wife has been waiting for him all evening and night.

"who the F asked you to wait for me" he screams.
"i was worried for you" she said.
"Why do you think I am a little boy?"
"no, no it is just that it was raining so.." so what you bloody B saying this he falls flat on his face. he did not even have the energy to walk till the door. she picked him up like a flower,took him in and put him to bed.

I was watching this from my window, looked at her to ask if she needs help breaking his bones...

she smiled and shook her head pleading me to ignore this commotion............

He was smelling and reeking of alcohol and she was smelling and reeking of Patience.......